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Six ink paintings, six haiku by Ochiru Six ink paintings, six haiku by Ochiru
edit 2011: dA's old separate thumbnail system seems to have stopped working, so here's a reupload of the whole set

This year's Christmas cards - six sumi-e of the winter flowering cherry tree, and six accompanying haiku. Haiku have many rules, of which the 5-7-5 rule is the most often broken, but for some reason the only one familiar to westerners. I know many of my haiku break other rules, but I'm no poet. Haiku always seem to lose something when translated, so I'll leave them in Japanese for now.
TRANSLATIONS BELOW!

これらは僕の今年のクリスマス・カードだ。見える通りに、題目は冬に咲いている桜で、桜の木とあわせて俳句を六つ。(日本に冬の桜はあるかどうかわからないがイギリスにある)実は俳句の規則に限らないから本物の俳句ではなかろう。しかし、自分が外人だけだから、本当の俳句は書けなさそうだね。
英訳はしたのほうにあります。
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:iconbottle-in-the-sea:
bottle-in-the-sea Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
beautiful :) the translations too
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconsomnomollior:
somnomollior Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011   Writer
This is lovely!
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you!
Reply
:iconzenith87:
Zenith87 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
とてもきれいです。書道と墨絵が大好きです。
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
有難うございます。とんでもない句だけですが。
Reply
:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Student Writer
can't read it, but lovely composition in general!
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Roughly translated, they go something like this:

On the bare tree
In place of flowers
Snow blooms

On the bare branches
Of the wintery tree
Blossoms of snow

It seems that
The flowers of spring
Are born from winter snows

I wonder if
Snow-deep trees
Dream of spring

Are they myriads
Blossoms that fly through the air?
No, maybe they are snowflakes

The white gardens
Frost must have bloomed
How beautiful.


But it is so hard to get any of the nuances or complexities of haiku into an English translation...
Reply
:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Student Writer
i understand, but i truly appreciate the translations :) this piece is all-around top-notch!
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:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks :) Personally I only think it's medium-notch at best - I was only an undergrad when I wrote these, and my understanding of classical grammar and poetic conventions were woefully limited at the time!
Reply
:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Student Writer
hey, i can still like it, right? :)
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Oh, absolutely - it only bothers me because I specialised in premodern poetry after then, and so learnt about all the rules I'd been breaking with stuff like this!
Reply
:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Student Writer
while i understand what you mean, i tend to see rules as ways to delineate their exceptions...at least where poetry is concerned :)
Reply
:iconnoradevius:
NoraDevius Featured By Owner May 23, 2007
Cool! I wish I knew Japanese. I love how cool your writing is.
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner May 23, 2007  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
It's a lot of work, trust me...
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:iconexclusevlywhored:
ExclusevlyWhored Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2006
the caligraphy is very beautiful
althogh i dont know what it means..its very nice
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2006  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
There are translations somewhere near the top of the comments page if you are interested.
Thanks for taking a look :)
Reply
:iconexclusevlywhored:
ExclusevlyWhored Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2006
=]
Reply
:iconxathrax123:
Xathrax123 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2006
I would gladly give a constructive comment, but I never understood haiku. Sorry about that.
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:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2006  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
no worries... c'est la vie around here :) Haiku are kinda complicated.
Reply
:iconequalibriumx:
EqualibriumX Featured By Owner May 22, 2006  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It reminds me of a book I once saw, something about Taoism. Very awesome, this :+fav: will gladly deviate from my normal trends and styles. Deviantart needs more Kanji/Katakana stuff like this, these would have been awesome to use with my pottery when I was looking for designs to etch a few weeks ago.
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:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner May 23, 2006  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you! (And thanks for the favourite, too)
Reply
:iconseetoo:
seetoo Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2006
This is so delicate and pretty (though it is very small on my screen). I love the cherry blossoms/tree, and the calligraphy is just so fluid-looking, even if I don't know what it means. ^^;
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2006  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Did you fullwiew it to see all of the trees and poems? It might be larger if so.... (though, I admit, it is pretty small anyway). There are also translations of the poems available near the beginning of the comments. :D
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:iconclimbout:
Climbout Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2006
Very cool! The calligraphy is awesome :)
Reply
:iconkar-ma:
Kar-ma Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2006  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:+fav: nice haiku's (must agree they sound heaps better in japanese) and good calligraphy. The cherry trees look nice and simple too.
Reply
:iconechomedia:
echomedia Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2006   Digital Artist
I really don't care about what this says, it's beautiful exactly how it is! The trees and writing compliment each other so well. BEAUTIFUL!
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:iconkarineko:
KariNeko Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2006
Very simple yet beautiful... ^_^
Reply
:iconharlequinny:
Harlequinny Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2006
The trees compliment the calligraphy wonderfully; In fact, it almost makes them stand out and increase the grace and flow of the line (like most, I can't comment on the literary content, and so have to settle for its visual quality) when compared to the twisting, knobbly branches.
Reply
:iconkatherose:
katherose Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2006
Truely gorgeous. I can't comment on the content of the poems, but the writing is very beautiful. The trees are also lovely, they remind me a bit of coral:)
Reply
:iconkatherose:
katherose Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2006
Truely gorgeous. I can't comment on the content of the poems, but the writing is very beautiful. The trees are also lovely, they remind me a bit of coral:)
Reply
:iconc0o0okie:
c0o0okie Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2006
i really like how it sounds, i like how haiku is simplistic but are still able to get a beautiful message across
Reply
:iconxneoshadex:
xNeoShadex Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2006
Haiku is the best form of poetry if you ask me, too many people think that only Dr. Suess or anything else that rhymes like a grown man with a 3rd grade reading level are forms of poetry, nice work.
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:iconunformation:
UNformation Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2006
Of course they'll be better in japanese, but I still liked them in english anyways.
I like the simplistic effect of the tree in combination with a haiku on just a plain white background.
Nice job and keep up the good work! :)
Reply
:iconkrista07pa:
krista07pa Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2006
ooo i cant read it but i like the translated version! and the trees look great on a white background =D
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:iconcrazylady:
crazylady Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2006
So that would be why the cherry tree turns up so often in haiku?
This piece is gorgeous. I love the little ink trees, with their pink blossoms. Does the cherry tree really bloom in winter there? Just as a matter of curiosity, what medium did you use to paint them?

I also wish I could read Japanese, as I am also certain the haiku sound better in their original language. (Most things sound better in their original language. Have you ever watched subtitled anime before? Some of the sentences come out very strange...)

Some people can translate haiku into nice English. I read one by Issa that goes something like:
Live in simple faith...
Just as this trusting cherry
flowers, fades, and falls.


Although, I'm fairly certain I'm still missing most of the cultural references. :(

I like your first haiku, and the fourth one. They seem the most...whimsical, to me.
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2006  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
The winter-flowering cherry is a separate tree from the normal flowering cherry - I forget if it has a different latin name. I don't know where mine is from, though)
They are all painted with sumi, japanese ink. About half of them were done with pre-mixed ink, the other half with ink I'd ground from an inkstone myself (the paler ones). The blossoms were done with an airbrush.
I watch plenty of subtitled anime, but I prefer not to read the subtitles if possible, as they usually aren't very close translations. Any translation loses so many nuances, so I try to stick to the original. (This is why I refuse to watch dubs, as your link to what is actually meant is severed)
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:iconlwcldylan:
lwcldylan Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2006   Digital Artist
Sumi-e is very cool, I used to be good at it when I was younger.
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:iconnooyawkgurrl:
NooYawkGurrl Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2006
I like this for it's simplicity.
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:iconlilcosette:
LilCosette Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2006
Gorgeous.. It sounds good in English too.. If I spoke Japanese I'm sure they'd sound good too :aww: Very pretty. I love the tree.. Cherry Tree?
Reply
:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2006  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Yup, they're all of winter-flowering cherry... I have a little one in my garden, which I used for the basic idea.
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:iconlilcosette:
LilCosette Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2006
Aww.. nice :)
Reply
:iconunhingeddiamond:
unhingeddiamond Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2006
beautiful- i love it.
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:iconanskamous:
anskamous Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2006   Traditional Artist
OMG! That is so cool!!!
I love haikus!!!

Great job!! :clap:
Reply
:iconramblebramble:
ramblebramble Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2006
There's just something intrinsically beautiful about this type of writing, I think this is a wonderful image, very well arranged and composed. The trees are very organic and realistic and the blossoms subtle and nicely done. the combination of words and images is a tricky thing to pull of, but I think you've managed it with this. Keep up the good work :)
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:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2006  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks!
Reply
:iconvlad15:
Vlad15 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2006
i usually don't like simple pics but this is good. love the japanese symbols.
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:iconochiru:
Ochiru Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2006  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks! (They're haiku rather than just symbols)
Reply
:iconemeraldravenmist:
emeraldravenmist Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2006   Photographer
well you got the form of hte tree right but the lines are too thick, the lines in sum-i are think with no pressure at all to think with much pressure. Yours have no variation.
Reply
:iconfluegel:
Fluegel Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
hey nice! :)
the person who got it must have been very happy.
well doen!
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